Description of the Lessons

Teaching Emotional Intelligence is a series of ten units (or topics) that comprise emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to acquire and apply information of an emotional nature, to feel and to respond emotionally. Areas of emotional intelligence are critically important since they drive our behavior, shape our values, and predispose us to choose one course of action over others. The guidance lessons and introductory information were created by Innerchoice Publishing in California published in their text “50Activities for Teaching Emotional Intelligence”.

The lessons each take about an hour. If your session is only 30-45 minutes, break each lesson up into two sessions.

Lesson One—Self-Awareness: Have the students either draw or write about their areas of strength, areas of weaknesses and major accomplishments. Ask them to answer the following questions and share with a partner: One thing I wish others could know about me is…., One of the things I feel proud of is……., It’s hard for me to admit that…….., A thing I accept in myself is…….., A thing I can’t accept in others is…………., and The way I need to improve is……… Next have the students list qualities they most admire in people. Then have them get into small groups and share a story about one of the most significant events in their lives.

Lesson Two—Managing Feelings: Have the students begin by listing five situations that typically lead to negative feelings such as “not knowing the answer when the teacher calls on me”. For each situation ask the students what thoughts a person would have in that situation and what feelings they’d have—list them all. Explain to the class that the easiest way to change your feelings about a situation is to change your thoughts about it. No one is forced to feel a certain way in any situation. Then have the class change their thoughts about each situation and share their ideas with the whole class.

Lesson Three—Decision Making: Explain to students that decision-making involves using what you know to get what you want. It’s when a person selects from two or more possible choices. Explain the process of decision making, which is: Define the decision to be made, Know what is important to you and what you want to accomplish, Study the information you already have or get and study new information, Look at each alternative and ask yourself what will happen to you and the other people involved if you choose it, Make a decision, and lastly, Develop a plan for putting your decision into action. Then have each student think of a decision they need to make and write a description. Have them follow the processing steps and write out their answers. Have them share with a partner their processing. Time permitting, have them get into small groups and share a time they had to choose the better of two bad things or discuss a decision they lived to regret.

Lesson Four—Self-Concept: The purpose of this session is to have the students share and describe their special abilities and talents, acknowledge the abilities and talents of classmates, and demonstrate the importance of diversity. Have them do a picture or collage of their accomplishments. Ask them how difficult it was to think of something? How does accomplishing things contribute to self-esteem? Have a discussion about negative and positive self-talk. Encourage them to stop themselves when engaging in self-talk. As an activity, have them describe situations that could lead to negative self-talk such as “you strike out at a ball game”. Have them give examples of positive self-talk to in each situation. For another activity, have them get into small groups and discuss something they enjoy doing because it gives them a sense of accomplishment. Also, have them discuss when they like themselves most—remind them that this is not an exercise on arrogance but an exercise on positive self-concept.

Lesson Five—Personal Responsibility: In this session students will describe feelings associated with taking responsibility for their actions and will contrast the attitude of having to do something versus choosing to do something. Have them make a list of things they have to do in life such as “I have to do my homework…….take out the trash” then have them write positive self-talk statements about those “have to’s”. Also have them list times in the last week they had to be responsible. List the responsibility, the action they took, and the reactions of others around them when they took action. Discuss the importance of responsibility and accountability. In a small group they can discuss a time in their life they stood up for something they believed in, whether it was easy or not.

Lesson Six—Empathy: Have the students pantomime situations that involve feelings such as “you just got a puppy and your friend is jealous”. Have the class identify feelings based on body language and facial expression. Describe to the class the good characteristics of a good listener—have them identify at least two qualities that make them a good listener and one quality they could improve on. Do a “Dear Abby” exercise with them. Read aloud an emotional situation (could take one from the daily paper) in which the sender is seeking support and advice. Have the students write back to that person demonstrating empathy and understanding coupled with gentle advice giving. Ask for volunteers to read them aloud in the class.

Lesson Seven—Communication: The purpose of this session is to teach them the use of I-statements to express feelings as well as learn to avoid habits that block effective communication. Write the following list on a blackboard: Interrupting, Challenging/ Accusing, Dominating, Judging, Advising, Interpreting, Probing and Criticizing. Ask the students to think of a title name for this list. Then have them discuss why these behaviors might hinder communication—you may have to give examples or role play. Next explain to them the importance of using “I statements” rather than accusatory “you make me feel…….statements”. Have them practice with a partner. Describe a situation to the students then explain the three steps of the I statement which are “When you”…….followed by “ I feel”……followed by “and I’d like you to”. Give them 6 scenarios and have them role play each one on their partner.

Lesson Eight—Group Dynamics: For each team, make eight 8”x 8” puzzles—cut up each puzzle into 3-5 pieces. Divide the teams up into 5-8 people and for each group have an observer. Read the group the following rules: assemble 8 puzzles of equal size; there will be no talking, pointing, or other nonverbal communication; a player may pass puzzle parts to any other team member at any time; you may not take, ask for, or indicate in any way that you want another team member’s puzzle pieces. Ask the observers to stand beside their designated tables and note how well they worked together, who shares puzzle pieces and who doesn’t, cooperative vs. competitive play, who provides leadership, etc. When the game is done have a discussion with the class and observers, ask such things as: What kind of behavior was most effective? How did someone demonstrate leadership? If you could play again would you change your behavior? What were some examples of competitive play? Cooperative play? What did you learn?

Lesson Nine—Conflict Resolution: Have either the class (or yourself) describe and discuss how the following conflict resolution strategies are beneficial: sharing, taking turns, active listening, postponing, using humor, compromising, expressing regret, and problem solving. Divide the class up into groups of 3 or 4. Assign them various scenarios such as: “Two students in a group working on a Social Studies project both want to print the names of the states on a map of the U.S. They argue. The situation becomes very tense and noisy and the project may be ruined.” Have the group act out the situation and one of the above strategies. Have the class guess which strategy was used.

Connections to Related Standards, Competencies, and Domains

All the lessons in “Teaching E.Q.” directly relate to Minnesota Graduation Standard Number 8 (Physical Education and Lifetime Fitness) by analyzing how health-related decisions are influenced by internal and external factors, demonstrating communication skills to express needs and enhance health, and applying a decision-making process to analyze health issues and attain personal goals. All of the lessons also directly relate to Standard Number 2 (Write and Speak) by demonstrating the ability to communicate effectively in a small group by employing all the specifications of that content standard.

Lessons three and eight directly relate to Standard Number 9 (Economics and Business) in the areas of personal resources and group resources. A student can demonstrate the ability to manage personal resources by identifying a problem, issue or situation; generating options and solutions, identifying the consequences of proposed solutions; creating and implementing an action plan, and lastly; evaluating the effectiveness and impact of the use of personal resources. Students demonstrate the ability to manage resources to produce a service by using basic principles of teamwork; creating a product/ service as a group; and evaluating the effectiveness of how the team managed their resources. Lessons four, six and seven directly relate to Standard Number 3 (Arts and Literature) by presenting and performing original artwork in the context of a guidance curriculum.

This guidance lesson is reflective of the Personal/ Social and Academic domains of the MN School Counselors’ Model of Developmental Guidance and Counseling. The lesson reflects the Personal/ Social domain by building self-confidence, having the willingness to take responsibility for one’s actions, and the ability to demonstrate human relations skills. It reflects the Academic domain by teaching the student that there is a difference between IQ and EQ and that both are equally important. It also teaches them the value of listening and appropriately using words to express themselves and meet their needs.

In addition, all of the lessons relate to the National Occupational Information Coordinating Committee Standards in two domains. It relates to the Self-Knowledge competency that stresses teaching skills to interact with others and gaining knowledge of the importance of growth and change. It relates to the Career Planning competency that gives students the skills to make decisions.

References

Innerchoice Publishing (no specific author). (1996). 50 Activities for Teaching Emotional Intelligence. San Francisco, CA: Innerchoice Publishing. (free catalog at #619-698-2437 or fax# 619-698-3348)