Social Skills - Avoiding Fights

 

Fred Kelson                                                                           Dawn Peanasky

Professional School Counselor                                               MSUM Intern 2002-2003

Nicollet Jr. High School                                                          Nicollet Jr. High School

Burnsville, Minnesota                                                            Burnsville, Minnesota

Description of the Program

 Social Skills Lessons and Activities is a curriculum based on real-life situations to help build studentsÕ self-esteem, self-control, respect for the rights of others, and a sense of responsibility for oneÕs own actions.  The program is intended for secondary students in grades 7-12.  The curriculum gives counselors a stimulating and systematic way to develop positive social behaviors in their students, and can be easily enhanced with other strategies, models and interventions devised by the counselor.  A sample of a lesson on Avoiding Fights follows.

 

Behavioral Objective: 

 

Students will learn constructive and positive ways to avoid getting into fights with others.

 

Directed Lessons:

 

1.     Establish the Need:  Many violent crimes could be avoided if people would

consider using alternatives to fighting in order to resolve problems.  In reality, fighting does not solve any problem.  It actually creates or builds new ones.  It creates problems for the people who fight.

 

2.     Introduction:  Have students take out a clean sheet of paper and write the

numerals 1-10 in the left margin.  Then, have them write down the behavioral qualities and attitudes of friends who always avoid getting into fights.  From this make a master list.  Discuss.

 

3.     Identify Skill Components:  List the following skill components on the

 board or on sentence strips.

 

1.     Ask yourself how to avoid fighting.

2.     Ask if fighting will solve the problem.

3.     Think about what could happen to you and your partnerÕs face, clothes, etc., if you fight.

4.     Consider alternatives to reach a resolution

5.     Negotiate and discuss.

6.     Use self-control.

7.     Make your choice.

8.     Try your choice.

9.     Evaluate your choice.

10.  Choose another alternative

11.  Inform a teacher or another adult.

 

4.     Model the Skill:  Counselor pretends to be a student who wants to have another student be his/her Òbest friend.Ó  A third student is also interested to have the same student as Òbest friend.Ó  Thus the counselor/student and another student are actively pursuing the third student to be their Òbest friendÓ and start to argue with each other.  Counselor/student will model alternatives to solve the problem to avoid a fight over who gets to be the Òbest friend.Ó

 

5.     Behavioral Rehearsal:  Give the students opportunities to perform the behavior and be evaluated.

 

A.    Selection:  Groups of three students each will be selected.

 

B.    Role Play:  Each group will role-play the situation modeled by the teacher and two students.  They will use the skill components to help them avoid getting into a fight.

 

C.   Completion:  After the role-plays, the rest of the class will critique the role-plays.  They will identify the appropriate and inappropriate responses of the groups having done the role-plays.

 

D.     Reinforcers:  Counselor will give a handshake to all the participants in the role-play.  Verbal praise can also be used for correct performance.

 

E.    Discussion:  Counselor will lead discussion about how fighting can lead to the destruction of the home, a friendship, a neighborhood, a community, or even yourself.  Counselor will also point out that movies and television shows where people are fighting should be avoided.

 

6.     Practice:  Distribute copies of the worksheet ÒSet Up Your StrategyÓ to the class. Students will fill in the blanks.  Hints are at the bottom of the worksheet. (Sample following Reference)

 

7.     Independent Use:  Distribute copies of the ÒRap Sheet.Ó  Groups of students will create a ÒrapÓ about keeping out of fights, using the skill components listed on the board.  During the next session, the students will bring their ÒrapsÓ to the class.  The class can vote on the best raps and prizes can be awarded to the winners.  (Sample following Reference)

 

8.     Continuation:  Counselors should continue pointing out the need for this skill as specific situations arise.

 

Reference and Resources

 

Weltmann Begun, R. (1996).  Social Skills Lessons & Activities for Grades 7-12, The Center for Applied Research in Education:  West Nyack, New York.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Name___________________________Date________________________

 

 

 

SET UP YOUR STRATEGY

 

Directions:  Fill in the blanks in the following sentences using the appropriate words from the ÒHINTSÓ box below.

 

 

 

1.     What are you _________________________about?

 

2.     Will fighting ____________________the problem?

 

3.     Consider other_____________________________.

 

4.     Make your ________________________________.

 

5.     _______________________________ your choice.

 

6.     _______________________________ your choice.

 

7.     _______________ ___another method if necessary.

 

 

HINTS:  Use these words to fill in the blanks.

 

evaluate                     arguing                      try

choice                         solve                           choose

alternatives

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Name____________________________Date_______________________

 

RAP SHEET

 

Directions:  Working with other members of your group, write a ÒrapÓ about keeping out of fights.  Use the skill components listed on the board in your rap.  The rap may be presented to the class later and a prize awarded for the best.