So, That’s How You Feel!

Paula Erbisch                                                           Stacey Thayer

Professional School Counselor                                 MSUM Intern 2000-01

Minnetonka Middle School West                            Minnetonka Middle School West

Excelsior, MN                                                         Excelsior, MN

The following developmental guidance lesson purpose is to demonstrate to students that listening to the feelings being expressed by others, as well as the content of their messages, enables enhanced communication.  Likewise, they learn the skills needs to pick up on the feelings of others.  The lesson is intended for middle school students and includes three separate mini-activities.  No materials are needed.

Activity One:

Begin by telling what is going to be discussed during the time shared together.  Explain that listening for feelings is as important as listening for content and that both with increase the chances of an individual understanding what is being said.  First ask the students: What is a feeling?  Are feelings pleasant or unpleasant? (Write a list on the board under a column labeled pleasant.)

Ask the students what feelings they can name that are pleasant? Some sample words include…

Pleasant- brave, calm, cheerful, happy/glad, confident, excited, nice pleased, proud, relieved, strong, surprised

Unpleasant- afraid, bored, confused, depressed, disappointed, mad, lonely, jealous, sad, tired, worried, hurt

After making sure the students understand feeling words move onto Activity Two.

Activity Two:

Begin by saying: We are going to play a game in which you have to listen to what a person is saying and feeling.  Let’s try a few examples.

Read the following examples aloud and have the students answer what types of feelings the person is having.  Were they pleasant or unpleasant? Then, have the students label the feelings they hear? The list above could be used for this. 

1.      “A terrible thing happened to me last Sunday.  I had invited my best friends to come for dinner and just as I was finishing preparations for the big celebration, my phone rang.  It was my friends calling.  They said their car had broken down and they couldn’t come after all.” FEELING-sad disappointed, lonely, depressed, etc…

2.      “I’ve started a new hobby.  A friend of mine showed me all about stamp collecting and now I have several books of stamps.  I found out just last week what my stamp collection is worth a lot more money now than when I first bought those stamps.  Besides the money the stamps are worth, I really like to look at them because they are so beautiful.” FEELINGS- happy, proud, secure, etc…)

3.      “When I was going on summer vacation, I packed my suitcase real full of all my best clothes, my favorite books, and some nice gifts for my friends.  When I got to my destination, I looked and looked for the suitcase at the airport, but I could not find it.  It was lost somewhere.  It had not been put on the plane. FEELINGS-angry, irritated, upset, unhappy, etc…)

4.      “I saw a movie on television a few nights ago.  When I started watching it I didn’t know what kind of movie it was going to be.  I couldn’t watch until the end because I was afraid I would not have good dreams.  I locked up my windows very tight that night and checked all the doors to be sure they were locked. FEELINGS- afraid, uneasy, etc…

Activity Three:

Divide the class into two teams.  Have one student from each team come to the front of the class and sit facing each other.  Instruct on team member to secretly pick a feeling word and then whisper it to you.  The team member is then to tell a short story about a time when he or she has felt that way without saying the word.  The opposing team member should try to guess the word the person has picked.  Remind the students to think about whether these words are pleasant, unpleasant or both.  Award one point to the team each time they identify the correct feeling.  Continue playing by switching which team tells the story and which team guesses.

Closure:

Wrap up the lesson by emphasizing the importance of not only listening for content but also feelings is important for effective communication.  Motivate students to tune into the feelings of others and to think in terms of pleasant, unpleasant or both as the speaker is talking.

Connections to the Profile of Leaning:

So, That’s How You Feel relates to the Personal Health Minnesota Graduation Standard that requests the demonstration of communication skills to express needs and enhance health. 

References:

Wittmer, J. and Thompson, D.W. (1995) Large Group Guidance Activities: A K-12 Sourcebook. Educational Media Corporation, Minneapolis, Minnesota.